how can a fake a bad back with my doctor?

[fizzydrinks2]

Hi - please help - i need to get a week off work and the only way to do this is pul a sicky (believe me it's the only way1) I have been told that the best way - and most hard to disprove is a bad back. How can I fake a bad back and convince my doctor? Many thanks xx

[WaldoMcFroog]

Try telling him your back got damaged because your boss kept kicking your workshy a*se.

[maggie01]

And while you are at the doctors with you imaginery back problem, some poor soul can't get an appointment and may really be suffering.

[Cymbeline]

Clearly WaldoMcFroog and Maggie01 are saints and have never done a bad thing in their lives (boring gits). So, in the spirit of living life to the max I applaud you fizzydrinks2 and say, why not push your acting skills and your devilish spirit to the limit and pull a "bereavement in the family" number. Tip: if you pick someone who's already dead, it doesn't feel so dastardly.

[morg_monster]

Cymbeline's idea is good, but to wangle a whole week off from one death, it would have to be a close family bereavement - and pretending your mum/dad/sibling has died, rather than 'Great-aunt Maude' is really pushing it a bit, even the most desperate person I don't think could do that! Also very hard to keep things straight as you're far more likely to talk about these people at work and trip yourself up later on. Just something to think about.

Do you HAVE to have a doctor's note? just wondering, at our work you only have to have one if you are off for more than 5 continuous working days. If you don't have to have one, a stomach virus is a good one, with lots of diarrhoea and vomiting, can last from a few days to more than a week. It puts people off asking more when you tell them about your days hugging the toilet, and also your boss won't want you spreading it around your colleagues (maybe drop in that you caught it from your kid / nephew / snivelling next door neighbour to emphasise it's contagiousness). Also, in general you don't feel well enough to get out of bed and go to the doctor until you are better, so, no wasting an appointment. If you DO need a note, then just try your best to look pale and shaky when you go.

Oh one more tip - ring up on the first day saying that you think you have food poisoning but you should be back tomorrow, these things usually pass in 24 hours, then the next day say you feel even worse, it must be a bug. You can say you are feeling better by the 4th day but since you haven't been able to keep any food down you are still feeling faint and couldn't manage to come in.

It sounds like I've thought about this a lot... Actually i have never pulled a sickie in my life, with 30 days leave in my job that I love I would feel guilty. I do sympathise with you though fizzy though I know I am very lucky.

[WendyS]

Beware of getting what you wish for. (Old proverb). You might one day find you develop a really bad back problem and then, either real or ficticious, you'll find it's real agony..

Without sounding too sanctimonious (and yes, I know I probably do) you might like to reflect what this enquiry reflects about you as a person, i.e. somebody who will lie and cheat to get something they want when they know they're not really entitled to it. And you might spare a thought for the poor honest soul who isn't skiving and will probably have to do their own job as well as yours. Come on ! January's bad enough for anybody having to get back to work after the Christmas break. Don't make it worse for your fellow workers.

[maggie01]

Cymberline I am no saint or a boring git, my issue is not about taking time off work but taking a doctors time up to do it. I have phoned in sick when really I wasn't but I usually find it backfires on me and I usually get found out. Perhaps my acting skills are not as good as yours but at least no one else suffers except me. I can live with that!

[fizzydrinks2]

hee hee

Most of these answers need to be sent to the catholic church because they are saints!!! Glass houses and all that!!!! (Thank you cymbeline and morg-monster for not judging xx)

Let me explain the situation, I am a teacher, I work in my school holidays to supliment my and my husbands income - he has just taken a much lower paid job - but has more job satisfaction. We have won a holiday to florida. Our two children would love it - we have never been abroad, and never`had a honeymoon.

It would be our first family holiday together. There is NO WAY i can have time off work out of school holidays and there is no way I can pead with my boss who is related to satan (saintly people who answered my first question - take note).

So a week off sick is the only answer - and I need a doctors note for any time off over three days.

That's why I need help - not a lesson in morality. Thank you for taking the time to answer my question though xx

[hannahjo]

Fizzy � if you manage to get the time off make sure you take shed loads of sunblock with you, returning to work with a tan after being off with a bad back would be one hell of a giveaway!!!

[mullein3]

CYMBELINE...their is no need to be so rude to waldomcfroog and maggie 01..they are quite entitled to their opinion..They are not boring because they choose to be truthfull..Their are not many people that have never done anything wrong so how can you judge what waldomcfroog and maggie have done..or not done!!..If fizzydrinks needs a week off work then they must request a week off unpaid!! or go to work like everyone else..And as for people suggesting a bereavement in the family to get time off work well that is disgusting..make sure it doesnt rebound on you as what you wish for comes back!! Perhaps waldommcfroog and maggie have standards!! I too have standards and if i needed time off work i would request a week unpaid!! Lets hope the doctor doesnt send fizzydrinks to the hospital with this bad back as they will soon rumble them..and before you attack me for speaking my mind well let me tell you i am entitled to my opinion the same as everyone else..if you wish to be rude find another site to visit!!

[mullein3]

fizzydrinks....your spelling isnt very good being you are supposed to be a school teacher?? glad you dont teach my family..

[Loosehead]

I thought I heard that self cert is now five days, woo hoo!

[Loosehead]

see here:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/healthy_living/health_at_work/practical_sick.shtml

[fizzydrinks2]

goodness me!

What uptight answers - to a simple question!!!

I have not laughed so much in ages!!

Also in answer mullein 3 picking at my spelling, I rather think loving the children one teaches is more important that spell checking!!

Mnay thanks to everyone for their answers in such a short space of time.

A good game to play when looking at these answers, is to guess which answers come from women suffereing PMT - or sandle wearing, bushy under arm haired 'free sprirts' called cressida etc.....hee hee xx

No no - don't send a barrage of 'opinionated' answers!! I'll wet myself laughing...anyway, got to practise my spellings ...

[WaldoMcFroog]

Firstly, you should have checked when the holiday was when you entered the competition. The law states that competitions must state any restrictions that affect the prizes.

Whilst its unfortunate that you've not been able to take holidays/ honeymoon etc, it's not your employers fault, regardless of whether s/he is Satan incarnate.

Whilst it's laudable that you support your family with an extra job, you and your husband made a decision to manage your life in that way. Again, it's not your employer's problem. You knew the terms and conditions when you became a teacher. Last time I looked they did pretty well for holidays, so it's not exactly unreasonable to expect you to come to work for the other 10 months or whatever it is.

Most people would probably like a free week to skive off and do what they want but they don't do it. If you want to do it, go ahead - it's no skin of my nose - but for god's sake don't be surprised when you ask for assistance in taking the p*ss on a public noticeboard that people end up calling a spade a spade.

[jno]

I work with someone who occasionally calls in sick and then turns up again with a suntan. Meanwhile I've been doing his work. I suppose this makes me 'uptight' in fizzy's eyes. Actually, it makes me angry. Can anyone see why?

[mullein3]

jno..it would make me angry also and i would s ay something..mr m has only had one day sick in 31 years..he goes to work even if he does feel a bit under the weather and he has missed the grandkids christenings and other important things because he couldnt get time off..and he certainly wouldnt lie to take time off...i suggested it once to him and he didnt like it...oh well people have different standards..thats life i guess!!!!!

[Drusilla]

Hi fizzydrinks2. How will you explain the tan if it's really hot. I doubt the side effect of a slipped disc is all over browning. :-)

[mgba_78]

What about tell your boss that you have won a competition and see if they can get cover you never know they might be understanding.

If they are not why not sell your competition prize on Ebay (or another auction site! ;op ) and the money you get from the prize would def cover a holiday for your family for a week and you can go later in the year??

[kags]

and will you be taking your children out of school also?

[jjaammeess]

I am really very angry and I am no saint .Here is a person who has the following

Two months holiday in the summer

Starts at 09:00 and finishes at 15:30

A great index related pension

It is also all obvious that she has issues with her boss.He has probably not given her promotion (would you wonder why) and she has been very bitter about it t or something else.So what did she do. She makes the rest of us suffer.But I can guarantee her one thing.If she gets her holiday by these means then she will not enjoy it.I am also saddened by the leveled of irresponsibility reflected in this thread instigated by a teacher who is supposed to be imparting responsibility to the children in her care.I was a teacher for many years and irresponsible teachers placed a greater burden on the rest of us.But they were known and they were not given promotion when it became available.